Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
