You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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