I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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