I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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