hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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