I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I AM VODKA MAN
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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