he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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