you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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