she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
being pregnant is like rehab
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
