did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
