With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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