I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
