remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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