This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
