Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
