i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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