Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
