ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
