My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
