I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
