I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
