I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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