This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
