New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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