She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
