Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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