I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just pee around me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
