so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
