I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
