we have pet lesbian snakes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
