She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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