I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
