bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
