so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
