I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
