the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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