Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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