I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
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