and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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