I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
