I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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