Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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