I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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