none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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