You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
lets start a swedish sibling band together
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
