my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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