Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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