We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
a search helicopter?!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
