I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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