I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
