Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
