it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
