i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
